There are a good few friends of mine who have all slept with their boy/girlfriends before actually dating. They wake up (possibly with a hangover), and decide at some point to see how things will go with the guy/girl from there, and sometimes it ends up in a relationship. Then I have other friends who wait a period of time e.g 3 - 6 months, before even considering sex with their then partner.

I'm interested in hearing the gaire members thoughts on this. Do you have any stances when it comes to dating? Do you have to wait until the 5th date before taking things further? Or do you shag first, commit later? or maybe it just depends on how you feel when you are with a person?

Also, if you do have a set stance on this e.g wait 3 months, would you think any worse of others who don't do that?

I think this is one that attitudes can change on. I am now quite firmly on the dating before sex side. I will admit though, this was not always the case, but, where I am now in my life it is how I feel and what I feel is right. After that I could not put times on it as in say things could only go further after 3/5/7/9 dates. That has to flow for itself.

Well for me I think it depends on how you feel when you're with the person. I slept with a guy on the first date and it turned into a two year relationship. So I think if you know it's right at the time go for it!

yea would kinda agree with anfor - was mad for to get the sex up an runnin and be an important part of the date - maybe because the dates never went really anywhere i had to change my rationale and tame my sexual needs until i got to know the date better. but nothings written in stone and depends on how the flow of things go.

I find that sleeping with someone can create what I would call "false intimacy", where people get very lovey-dovey with each other before knowing anything about each other.

Yeah, I agree.

The only time I had a relationship, I didn't jump straight into bed with the guy. As I rarely have luck with guys, a lot of my friends tell me to just get out there and score, and see what happens from there. I haven't taken their advice just yet, but some of them do seem to secure boyfriends through bedhopping.

Id stick with whatever you are comfortable with. There's not much point in doing something that feels a bit alien to you. Personally ive never really liked the whole one night stand thing, ive never had a relationship develop from a situation like that.

I think you have to take each case on it's own.

Sometimes it's just nigh on impossible not to sleep with someone because a) you need a shag, b) they are an absolute ride and you cant keep your hands off them or c) you've drunk too much and have no will power and beer goggles.

i would love to take it slowly ie find out and discover the other person before i jump into bed with them. but unfortunately anyone i have ever met wants to shag first and i feel a bit old fashioned but i have never come across anyone that feels the same way as i do (and i feel a bit stupid voicing my opinion) so therefore i have to go with the flow *this is actually a honest heartfelt post from the ice queen*

You're not the only old fashioned sort out there, Ice.

I thinks its great when you date somebody for a while and then take things to the next, although, id say usually after the 3rd date is a good time to step it up a little then a few more dates to go the whole way...its better if ye know somebody i think, means more!

God! That's way too long I feel, Maybe 3 – 6 dates!
I was with a guy for nearly 7 years and I think we waited a couple of weeks, maybe on the 4th date or so, same with my current partner, we waited about 3 weeks.
I don't think it ever lasted with someone I met on a one night stand for more than a month - not sure if it had anything to do with how we met but could be a factor.

I would take it VERY slowly... get to know the person first. Then if there is definite mutual interest, the word mutual being key here, We'll see where it goes from there.

It would be impossible for me to have sex on the first date.

Me an my bf of 3+ years slept together on 1st date...I dont think there is a hard and fast rule...but generally not a bad idea to wait for a few dates at least