|23049 POSTS SINCE 2008
|105 YO FEMALE FROM PALMYRA ATOLL
This begs the question:
Where is the line between being nice and being TOO nice?
Let's look at the three points made by Ery, Sky and Blur, shall we.
People who are by nature nice get taken advantage of. Other people know this and start to expect certain things from the people labelled the 'nice' ones.
When the 'nice' ones tell those taking advantage to wise up, or to 'cunt off' as Ery puts it, I've noticed that they get a lot of flak for standing up for themselves for once. More so than others who are known for being assertive.
A little example here... "Johnny" gave out to "Peter".
If Johnny is seen as the 'nice guy', his assertive stance that once is remembered 20 years down the line.
If Johnny is seen as an assertive guy, his assertive stance that time is forgotten a week later.
So people CAN get trapped by their own niceness.
Sky points out the fact that being too nice is being out of balance. Yes, that's very true. However, what if a person is by nature a nice person and does NOT engage in people pleasing behaviour? (Such as having no problems being cruel to be kind.) They may be nice to themselves and to other people, but still is seen as a bore?
Blur has the same view as I do. Being mannerly, respectful and considerate of the other person is what is nice.
Though I have some friends who state for the record that they are NOT NICE. They would be insulted if someone called them 'nice'.
This was one of the reasons behind this thread.