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Bisexuality: What Is It ?
 
# 1 : Monday 6-9-2010 @ 08:26
 
kris
Unstoppable
460 POSTS SINCE 2009
    
45 YO GAY MALE FROM LONDON
 
I've known many supposedly straight men who declare themselves bisexual and leave their wife or female partner for male partner.

However, I've never heard of a bisexual man who has left his gay partner for a woman.

So is bisexuality merely a convenient term for a gay man who has been, or remains, in a straight relationship and wants gay sex? Does the term mean anything beyond that?

Edited By Kris, 06 September 2010, 08:28

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# 2 : Monday 6-9-2010 @ 08:53
 
Wheelie Bin
Administrator
20141 POSTS SINCE 2002
    
43 YO GAY MALE FROM DUBLIN
 
kris said :
I've known many supposedly straight men who declare themselves bisexual and leave their wife or female partner for male partner.

However, I've never heard of a bisexual man who has left his gay partner for a woman.


I do. He was with his male partner for years, they were living together. And then he split with him for the woman he's now with.

I know two self-identified 'gay' men who have sex with women on the sly and keep it secret because they don't want their gay cred to be damaged.


Edited By Wheelie Bin, 06 September 2010, 08:55

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# 3 : Monday 6-9-2010 @ 09:29
 
Rubberboy
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4459 POSTS SINCE 2002
 
41 YO BI MALE FROM DUBLIN
 
Yeah I know a few guys who are now with female partners after being with male partners. While I didn't leave a male partner to be with a women. Almost all of my past partners have been male but I have now been in a longterm relationship with a women for nearly ten years. So clearly it happens. Looks like your data set is abit to small, you may just don't know enough bi guys.

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# 4 : Monday 6-9-2010 @ 10:14
 
Derrida
Hermes Trismegistus
10561 POSTS SINCE 2009
    
30 YO GAY MALE FROM DUBLIN
 
Like any label, it can be abused, but any, as we sometimes forget, like any label it is nonetheless anterior to the people who uphold/embody/(hopefully)transcend it/. There are guys who have left women for men, and vice, people who identify as bi as they make an often painful and confusing transistion to full-blown homosexuality, there are people who are attracted to both men and women - as has been said, there are many different kinds of bi-people. I understand why you ask, though - sometimes its hard to understand all these labels and people - for example, I dont often get 'heterosexuals' who sleep with men on the side, etc. I guess we cleave to lables for identity, but at the same time, are conflicted in how we adopt and live up to those labels.

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# 5 : Wednesday 22-9-2010 @ 14:00
 
soeffingwhat
Veteran
19 POSTS SINCE 2009
 
39 YO STRAIGHT MALE FROM DUBLIN
 
Label or not, I believe it definitely exists.

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# 6 : Wednesday 22-9-2010 @ 14:30
 
Intrepid
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23106 POSTS SINCE 2008
  
106 YO FEMALE FROM PALMYRA ATOLL
 
What's so hard to understand about it?

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# 7 : Wednesday 22-9-2010 @ 14:38
 
Platnex
Immortal
625 POSTS SINCE 2004
 
26 YO BI MALE FROM DUBLIN
 
The main problem with Bisexuality is the labels I feel.

I am an out and proud Bisexual, I enjoy the company and intimacy of both males and females, what I don't like is the attitude a lot of people give.


The main thing we find is that people don't understand how we can like both, some people say "Will you come out of the closet" or "When are you going to stop experimenting" and a lot of stuff along those lines.

As for the Scenario with a Man leaving a Gay partner for a Woman, it happens, stranger things have, just because some people don't see it never means it doesn't happen

Edited By Platnex, 22 September 2010, 14:40

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# 8 : Wednesday 22-9-2010 @ 14:44
 
Derrida
Hermes Trismegistus
10561 POSTS SINCE 2009
    
30 YO GAY MALE FROM DUBLIN
 
soeffingwhat said :
Label or not, I believe it definitely exists.

Joyce once spoke of 'those big words that make us so unhappy' - I would say that there are also those big labels which make us equally discontented.

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# 9 : Wednesday 22-9-2010 @ 17:37
 
Buddha
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8471 POSTS SINCE 2010
 
42 YO GAY MALE FROM CORK
 
I Believe we are all or mostly bisexual, its a middle ground and at both ends there is Hetro and Homo! We have been so brainwashed and hardwired to believe Hetro is the norm and Bi/homo are its opposites!

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# 10 : Wednesday 22-9-2010 @ 17:42
 
Frodo
Moderator
34268 POSTS SINCE 2002
    
39 YO GAY MALE FROM FRANKFURT
 
I agree with Lingerielady and it still puzzles me that people are still asking questions such as the ones in the original post.

I just don't get it. Some people are bisexual, get over it!


As for the people you know who declared themselves "bisexual", well maybe they are bisexual, maybe they're not.

One thing's for sure: people often lie. It's what makes us human!


So perhaps, your friends or acquaintances weren't exactly being completely truthful when they left their respective partners of the female and legally married sex?

People have been known to lie during such times as divorces as well as throughout whole relationships. It's very rare, I guess, but it does happen....


EDIT: Just in case it is not completely fucking obvious, there's more than a teeny bitsy bit of sarcasm in parts of this post!

Edited By Frodo, 22 September 2010, 17:45

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# 11 : Wednesday 22-9-2010 @ 18:53
 
Was Faust
Eris
8236 POSTS SINCE 2004
 
29 YO STRAIGHT MALE
 
I think its a horribly misunderstood thing that is actually quite simple.

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# 12 : Wednesday 22-9-2010 @ 18:59
 
Intrepid
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Well said, Faust.

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# 13 : Wednesday 22-9-2010 @ 19:05
 
Derrida
Hermes Trismegistus
10561 POSTS SINCE 2009
    
30 YO GAY MALE FROM DUBLIN
 
faust said :
I think its a horribly misunderstood thing that is actually quite simple.

Yes, once you divest it of all its definitional baggage. Sometimes, people question as to whether we are all basically bisexual, but really, does it matter? Its like saying you only sh*g men because you dont sh*g women, and vice versa, or that one is somehow surreptitiously 'limiting' in being attracted to only one gender. I think that when we deny the many binaries of that logic, we can see sex and sexuality as a kind of mutable landscape, an horizon of possibility within which the many labels and names and impositions are nonetheless anterior to the basic drive that both precedes and supercedes all these these categories. In other words folks, its sex at the end of the day, why all the fuss.

Edited By Derrida, 23 September 2010, 19:45

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# 14 : Thursday 23-9-2010 @ 19:28
 
radar174
Newbie
1 POST SINCE 2009
    
42 YO BI MALE FROM CARLOW
 
I am living in confuse.com I like men, women and transgender people.I have not been able to admit my feelings to my self for years and years. I do not know what category I would be in, and sometime that it scare me. I am trying to live with my new found sexual awakening. As for categories, we all live and we all love and hopefully be loved

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# 15 : Thursday 23-9-2010 @ 19:35
 
Intrepid
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23106 POSTS SINCE 2008
  
106 YO FEMALE FROM PALMYRA ATOLL
 
Welcome to Gaire, Radar174. You'll be fine as long as you remember to just be yourself and not be worrying about labels and categories. You said it yourself...
As for categories, we all live and we all love and hopefully be loved

Well said.

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