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Passive Aggressive
 
# 1 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 17:28
 
Erytheis
Hera
14715 POSTS SINCE 2003
 
106 YO GAY FEMALE FROM AGIOS NIKOLAOS
 
Say what you mean and mean what you say.

When someone is being passive aggressive to you do you get it, or do you do like me and act on their words not on the implications? So when someone tells me they are fine (unless they are crying) I think they are fine, but apparently that is not always the case.

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# 2 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 17:30
 
swoosh
Godlike!
1095 POSTS SINCE 2011
 
32 YO LESBIAN FEMALE FROM GALWAY
 
No im the exact opposite... i will stalk them until they tell me what i did wrong (usually the case )

... Then i end up wishing i just let it lie!

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# 3 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 17:35
 
Shaggy
Internet Sensation
55562 POSTS SINCE 2004
  
30 YO MALE
 
I can usually tell if people aren't fine when they say they are. You just get the "vibe"

Maybe I have a sixth sense.

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# 4 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 17:54
 
19%_
Godlike!
8751 POSTS SINCE 2010
   
42 YO MALE FROM KILKENNY
 
Shaggy said :
I can usually tell if people aren't fine when they say they are. You just get the "vibe"

Maybe I have a sixth sense.


I'm fine. except for this man flu

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# 5 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 18:04
 
Erytheis
Hera
14715 POSTS SINCE 2003
 
106 YO GAY FEMALE FROM AGIOS NIKOLAOS
 
Shaggy said :
I can usually tell if people aren't fine when they say they are. You just get the "vibe"

Maybe I have a sixth sense.


I'll need to bring you around with me more often so you can elbow me when you get that vibe until I get it too.

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# 6 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 18:05
 
pennylane
Belisama
24592 POSTS SINCE 2005
    
32 YO STRAIGHT FEMALE FROM DUBLIN
 
It depends but I find with sulkers/passive aggressive types if you try digging you only end up in more trouble.

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# 7 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 18:10
 
Erytheis
Hera
14715 POSTS SINCE 2003
 
106 YO GAY FEMALE FROM AGIOS NIKOLAOS
 
Common Passive Aggressive Behaviors:

Ambiguity: I think of the proverb, "Actions speak louder than words" when it comes to the passive aggressive and how ambiguous they can be. They rarely mean what they say or say what they mean. The best judge of how a passive aggressive feels about an issue is how they act. Normally they don't act until after they've caused some kind of stress by their ambiguous way of communicating.

Forgetfulness: The passive aggressive avoids responsibility by "forgetting." How convenient is that? There is no easier way to punish someone than forgetting that lunch date or your birthday or, better yet, an anniversary.

Blaming: They are never responsible for their actions. If you aren't to blame then it is something that happened at work, the traffic on the way home or the slow clerk at the convenience store. The passive aggressive has no faults, it is everyone around him/her who has faults and they must be punished for those faults.

Lack of Anger: He/she may never express anger. There are some who are happy with whatever you want. On the outside anyway! The passive aggressive may have been taught, as a child, that anger is unacceptable. Hence they go through life stuffing their anger, being accommodating and then sticking it to you in an under-handed way.

Fear of Dependency: From Scott Wetlzer, author of Living With The Passive Aggressive Man. "Unsure of his autonomy and afraid of being alone, he fights his dependency needs, usually by trying to control you. He wants you to think he doesn't depend on you, but he binds himself closer than he cares to admit. Relationships can become battle grounds, where he can only claim victory if he denies his need for your support."

Fear of Intimacy: The passive aggressive often can't trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone. A passive aggressive will have sex with you but they rarely make love to you. If they feel themselves becoming attached, they may punish you by withholding sex.

Obstructionism: Do you want something from your passive aggressive spouse? If so, get ready to wait for it or maybe even never get it. It is important to him/her that you don,t get your way. He/she will act as if giving you what you want is important to them but, rarely will he/she follow through with giving it. It is very confusing to have someone appear to want to give to you but never follow through. You can begin to feel as if you are asking too much which is exactly what he/she wants to you to feel.

Victimization: The passive aggressive feels they are treated unfairly. If you get upset because he or she is constantly late, they take offense because; in their mind, it was someone else's fault that they were late. He/she is always the innocent victim of your unreasonable expectations, an over-bearing boss or that slow clerk at the convenience store.

Procrastination: The passive aggressive person believes that deadlines are for everyone but them. They do things on their own time schedule and be damned anyone who expects differently from them.

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# 8 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 18:42
 
ice..
Godlike!
2719 POSTS SINCE 2011
 
36 YO GAY FEMALE FROM DUBLIN
 
I really never got the passive aggressive thing. I just don't understand it. If I am annoyed people will know. I must read more into this.....

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# 9 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 18:47
 
ice..
Godlike!
2719 POSTS SINCE 2011
 
36 YO GAY FEMALE FROM DUBLIN
 
Erytheis said :
Common Passive Aggressive Behaviors:

Ambiguity: I think of the proverb, "Actions speak louder than words" when it comes to the passive aggressive and how ambiguous they can be. They rarely mean what they say or say what they mean. The best judge of how a passive aggressive feels about an issue is how they act. Normally they don't act until after they've caused some kind of stress by their ambiguous way of communicating.

Forgetfulness: The passive aggressive avoids responsibility by "forgetting." How convenient is that? There is no easier way to punish someone than forgetting that lunch date or your birthday or, better yet, an anniversary.

Blaming: They are never responsible for their actions. If you aren't to blame then it is something that happened at work, the traffic on the way home or the slow clerk at the convenience store. The passive aggressive has no faults, it is everyone around him/her who has faults and they must be punished for those faults.

Lack of Anger: He/she may never express anger. There are some who are happy with whatever you want. On the outside anyway! The passive aggressive may have been taught, as a child, that anger is unacceptable. Hence they go through life stuffing their anger, being accommodating and then sticking it to you in an under-handed way.

Fear of Dependency: From Scott Wetlzer, author of Living With The Passive Aggressive Man. "Unsure of his autonomy and afraid of being alone, he fights his dependency needs, usually by trying to control you. He wants you to think he doesn't depend on you, but he binds himself closer than he cares to admit. Relationships can become battle grounds, where he can only claim victory if he denies his need for your support."

Fear of Intimacy: The passive aggressive often can't trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone. A passive aggressive will have sex with you but they rarely make love to you. If they feel themselves becoming attached, they may punish you by withholding sex.

Obstructionism: Do you want something from your passive aggressive spouse? If so, get ready to wait for it or maybe even never get it. It is important to him/her that you don,t get your way. He/she will act as if giving you what you want is important to them but, rarely will he/she follow through with giving it. It is very confusing to have someone appear to want to give to you but never follow through. You can begin to feel as if you are asking too much which is exactly what he/she wants to you to feel.

Victimization: The passive aggressive feels they are treated unfairly. If you get upset because he or she is constantly late, they take offense because; in their mind, it was someone else's fault that they were late. He/she is always the innocent victim of your unreasonable expectations, an over-bearing boss or that slow clerk at the convenience store.

Procrastination: The passive aggressive person believes that deadlines are for everyone but them. They do things on their own time schedule and be damned anyone who expects differently from them.

Thats just a lot of mumbo jumbo to me. I realise now why people think I am a cunt

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# 10 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 21:56
 
Intrepid
Godlike!
23071 POSTS SINCE 2008
  
105 YO FEMALE FROM PALMYRA ATOLL
 
Passive aggressiveness... ugh. 'Tis nothing more than constipated anger.

Give me someone pissed at me yelling the truth in a direct manner than someone being passive aggressive.

Yup. Constipated anger.

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# 11 : Thursday 1-12-2011 @ 23:23
 
Frodo
Moderator
34071 POSTS SINCE 2002
    
39 YO GAY MALE FROM FRANKFURT
 
constipated anger, I love it!



I hate passive aggressiveness as well. My mum's an expert at it and it can drive me nuts.


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# 12 : Friday 2-12-2011 @ 15:51
 
Erytheis
Hera
14715 POSTS SINCE 2003
 
106 YO GAY FEMALE FROM AGIOS NIKOLAOS
 
Intrepid said :

Yup. Constipated anger.


I'm going to start using that.

Herself's mother doesn't know how to ask what she wants directly it's all pity and pander to me bullshit.

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# 13 : Friday 2-12-2011 @ 16:07
 
19%_
Godlike!
8751 POSTS SINCE 2010
   
42 YO MALE FROM KILKENNY
 
Erytheis said :


I'm going to start using that.

Herself's mother doesn't know how to ask what she wants directly it's all pity and pander to me bullshit.


Maybe she's scared of you ?

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# 14 : Friday 2-12-2011 @ 19:46
 
Erytheis
Hera
14715 POSTS SINCE 2003
 
106 YO GAY FEMALE FROM AGIOS NIKOLAOS
 
She would be the first

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# 15 : Friday 2-12-2011 @ 20:11
 
PixieDawn
EOS
9512 POSTS SINCE 2007
 
45 YO M2F FEMALE
 
'Tis nothing more than constipated anger.


I'm passive agressive most of the time and I agree with trip here in why, nine times out of ten, I walk away from people thinking "what wankers", I manipulate it, people's fear and anger, though particularly if I don't like the way they think they should think about me. I never have a problem with that,as I wouldn't assume about anyone elses likes. So there for I hate when others assume about me.

I can actually be quite hurtful in my response too them, that will make them feel as small as a grain of salt in the world. I will never appologies for it though, if you want to approach me and make me feel shit about being me, I will make you feel 1,000 shit about being you, even though I don't have or ever will have a problem with you.

I'm guessing that's what they call anger management.






Edited By PixieDawn, 02 December 2011, 20:36

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