Has anyone ever convinced their wife to fuck them with a strapon, and how did you bring up the subject if you did, or even get her to use her vibrater on you?

My guess is it'd be hard to deduce a "strategy" based on other people's wives for your own wife, since being a wife doesn't mean you think the same as all "wives".

why not trying something like wait for an intimate moment and ask your wife to swap sex fantasies.
say you'll share one with her if she shares one with you, and NO judging.

thanks greenmanpp, something like that might work, then again, tell her i want to be fucked and she might just think im gay, so its a touchy one, and sorry to any gay people, i dont mean that as offensive, just thinking of my wifes viewpoint

Seems like a lot of work.

You'd probably need to start off with handheld devices that you both use on each other.

Start her with something simple like having her finger your ass. When she sees you enjoy it maybe suggest something bigger

It's probably "taboo" but it's not something that makes you gay.

Just present it as a desire to get your prostate gland titillated, and that this is the equivalent for her of wanting her "gpoint" explored by hand or tongue: that would not make her a lesbian that she wants you to do it the way a woman could.
Tell her how some men like to be fingered while having "straight" sex (if that exists). Maybe even start with the fingering fantasy, which she will be familiar with if she was watching Sex and the City last century.

Are either you or your wife homophobic? i.e. why does it matter if your wife though you were a little gay?. Is it you suspect thinking it would bother her?, or is the prospect of your wife thinking you are a little bit gay bother you?

As he said he did not mean to be offensive.
It is obvious that it would be unpleasant though for a wife to think her husbands fancies men... Likewise if he said the new secretary is a babe and looks like an easy ride, it would call her imagination to work overdrive.
Both cases are different from: he loves her so he likes women so he might like other women. Both case are jumps out of "might" and into "may".

well she doesnt like the idea of seeing me in a dress, so i feel she wont like this, but it is something i would love to try, even just the once, but she is very conservative so i am worried if i say it to her, she will think i am a weird, i am just not sure of her reaction, but thanks all for your opinions and advise so far

penny, if you dont mind, what would you think if a guy asked you to do this? would it be something that would freak you out? we are married, and i have never mentioned this before so i am just worried if i bring it up, what the repercussions could be

no it isin't if that was the case bisexuals would never ever, be able to marry.

Obvious from the point of view he uttered his statement.
Not all wives, always, everywhere at all times.
Obvious from his context if we give him credit and read his post with a generous mindset not geared at "catching him".

how small or large, should i try, if i want to train myself before asking her, as in if i buy my own dildo/vibrater, whats a good size to start using on myself to loosen up a bit, sorry new to this

It wouldn't freak me out, I don't see it as that unusual.

so would you fuck a guy? pity i didnt meet you when i was single penny, thanks for all the feedback, i really appreciate it,