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It's The Lies... My Arse!
 
# 1 : Monday 5-6-2017 @ 12:11
 
 
I am not proud of it, but from time to time I watch Cat Fish .

One typical scenario I noticed is:
- Person (V for victim) falls in love with other person (C for catfish) on the internet
- The picture of C are taken from someone else, usually some tall blonde model, or dark-moddy type of sexy
- V wants to meet C, because of that strong bond that they have forged online, and because they have such a good personality
- V ends up meeting C and finding out that they are nothing like their picture
- C claims "it's not me on the pictures, but it was my personality you fell in love with"
- V cannot say the opposite, but conclude: it's not what you look like, it is the lies that I cannot accept.

I am still waiting or the episode where the picture of C is the picture of an ugly fuck, and still V would have fallen for the personality. And when V meets C, it turns out they were talking to a top model all the time.
And they say: sorry but I cannot stand the lies .

Of course that would never happen;
- because V would have paid not attention to an ugly C in the first place
- because V was attracted to the picture, and then bought into the personality
- because even in Belle et la BĂȘte , she only kisses him after he turns into a beautiful (rich) prince

All that is a testimony of the damage caused by the "beauty inside" crap.

The truth is that there is a cover for every pot, but that not every pot will be a best-seller worthy of being in the shop-window. And that the cover usually matches the pot in type and style.
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# 2 : Monday 5-6-2017 @ 15:00
 
 
You're right about a lot of that, but just as a side point, in the original Beauty and the beast, the moral is quite a bit different (as are Belle's motivations), and the beast doesn't turn back into a handsome prince.

One thing I will add is, I do see the side of "it's the lies though"
I might be able to get over the physical difference (but I completely reserve the right to say, actually you're not my type, I don't find you physically attractive, bye).
But that would be nothing, compared to getting over 'endorsing' someone who finds it acceptable to "get people to meet up with them, with a fake profile".

Me dating them after that point would be akin to me ratifying their actions, or
showing that I support an "ends justify the means" method of meeting people, even when those means involve disrespecting me as a person.

I wouldn't want to date a person that did that or thought like that, becasue I wouldn't be attracted to their self respect and principles. To me it;s the action of a selfish (and amoral) worm who thinks "being physically unattractive" is an excuse to get dates by any means necessary.

If you're ugly, be smart, or be charming or funny, or rich, or 'nice'.
Feeling justified enough to think YOU deserve to lie to people becasue of the cards you've been dealt is an ugly quality.
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# 3 : Monday 5-6-2017 @ 15:37
 
 
There was an episode I remember where the V thought she was talking to a man but the C was actually a woman. They fell in love with the person though and it worked out.
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# 4 : Monday 5-6-2017 @ 17:07
 
 
Someone said :
There was an episode I remember where the V thought she was talking to a man but the C was actually a woman. They fell in love with the person though and it worked out.

Showing thAt at the end of the day the lie never matters more than the attraction.
And when it does matter, it is often over-inflated to avoid admitting the perceived shalliwness of the physical aspect.

Physical attraction is not a shallow aspect of a relationship. Political correctness is never anatomically correct...
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# 5 : Tuesday 6-6-2017 @ 12:05
 
 
Aren't all catfish stalkers ?
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# 6 : Tuesday 6-6-2017 @ 12:16
 
 
Someone said :
Aren't all catfish stalkers ?

Some of the time.
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# 7 : Tuesday 6-6-2017 @ 12:32
 
 
Someone said :

Some of the time.

It's stalking even stealing the images to create the profile is just the tip of the iceberg , there should be a law
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# 8 : Tuesday 6-6-2017 @ 13:16
 
 
Someone said :

It's stalking even stealing the images to create the profile is just the tip of the iceberg , there should be a law

There are laws. Just not worth applying most of the time.
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# 9 : Saturday 10-6-2017 @ 06:36
 
 
It is a horrible experience, when it hits home that you were the victim of a catfish attack; especially when you discover it was someone close to you who was behind it. And its even worse for the person whose pictures were pitched forward as the catfish. It is the norm to feel angry, embarrassed, almost vengeful; but it is also a massive learning experience. It teaches you to not be so naive when 'chatting' online. Unless you see a person face to face, or even on Skype, you can be sure that you could be talking to absolutely anyone.

I think Catfish the show has jumped the shark by now; much of it, like most of the reality tv shows, have staged staged elements that stink of 'fish'.. (lets leave the cat out of it). But holding grudges does nothing but invoke bad karma.
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# 10 : Saturday 10-6-2017 @ 08:04
 
 
Were you ever catfished Noah?
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# 11 : Saturday 17-6-2017 @ 11:42
 
 
Someone said :
...
worm who thinks "being physically unattractive" is an excuse to get dates by any means necessary
...

But what if it turns out you are more attracted to the real person than to their fake profile?
I am waiting for the episode where that is the case, and the victim of the catfish says "you are a ride, but you lied to me so no thanks..."

Of course anyone who is lying about one's physical appearance to attract someone else, is a liar. But the question is: does the lie really outweigh the physical rejection?
Because in thee shows, it is always "the lie" which is castigated.

In the scenario I suggest, the lie would very likely become insignificant if the catfish is "a ride"! Or at least much less significant. The cat-fished party would easily turn it into a charming from of "modesty" by someone who wanted to be loved for their personality rather than for being a model...

If that is the case, then then the "it's a lie" argument is widely exaggerated when it comes to "ugly" catfishes. Because it is not politically correct to say "they are ugly" or "they are ugly liars", they opt for "they are liars and that is the only reason, I swear, I am not shallow."
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# 12 : Saturday 17-6-2017 @ 21:13
 
 
The problem with a catfish is that you are left with the question.. 'why did you pretend to be someone else to be with me?', 'is this person mentally stable', 'what is lies and what is true'. Yes Ive been a victim of a catfish attack, and thats what it was as it really made me stop and think about how I myself interact online with people, and more, who am I actually talking to. Even with a forum like this.. is it the Irish Times or the Tabloids we are speaking to? The public want to know current issues and public opinions.. what better source than forums like this.

In my catfish attack, it turned out to be 'friends' at the time who were behind it. I dont claim to be the most sane of people, but that one threw me through hoops.. the questions.. why? why bother? what was the point? Does everyone do this? was that funny? Am I an absolute idiot? and sadly that last question stuck with me and hence affected my trust and belief that people are honest or good and left wondering, is the whole world really that messed up that this is entertainment now?

Ive moved on from it and found 'love' elsewhere but i will never forget, while I do forgive, what it felt like when the penny dropped. Even the person whose pictures were used knows about it, and he went to the police with it. I was able to provide him with evidence and proof but what can u do when jurisdictions and continents are involved. All I will say is that the people behind it are scum and dont even realize the damage they are inflicting on their victims. Im a touch character.. I think, and kinda kind of understand the psychology behind the motives (jealousy, greed, possessiveness), but it by no means is anything to laugh about. Its how real hard core disturbed individuals could be groomed into being! I would go so far as to say, it made me more introverted and less willing to even try make friends with people... internally... yet to the public Im strangely even more honest and open.. so its difficult to access what the effect of the experience actually had.
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# 13 : Monday 19-6-2017 @ 16:28
 
 
I've very sorry to hear that Noah. That must have been awful.
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# 14 : Monday 19-6-2017 @ 21:22
 
 
@noah-returned , you were not an idiot. Trusting friends is part of what sane people do.
People like me, who are a bit paranoid of everyone, do not get cat-fished so easily, but also do not develop friendships readily.

It is terrible what happened to you, and I hope you do mot let it dent your desire to develop authentic friendships.

This being said, let me address the comment " The public want to know current issues and public opinions.. what better source than forums like this. "

You can rest at peace: there is very little of interest to the general public that goes on in public fora. And so called journalists that twoque (twist & quote) them would find another source to "support" their nonsense and/or ideological ego trips.

I mention this because it suggests to me that you might be "projecting" your inner battles unto others: putting intentions in their minds which may not be there in the first place. As a result, you are more hurt by these events, or perspectives, or possibilities, than is objectively mandated.
Thus you feel more emotionally hurt by betrayals from these people, than if you did not invest yourself so much into "their side" of the relationship.

In other words, if you take a step back everytime you feel deeply hurt by such betrayals, or start worrying about them, you might be able to see that it's worth engaging with these people, knowing that they may betray you but that if they do it is not the end of the world. Thus worrying less about finding "perfect" friendships, and accepting that you may be more a friend to them that they are to you from their point of view.

And if they are more than that: "happy days".
And if not: "tough, that's life, let's keep going".

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