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Do You Test Drive Your Lovers? (Or Have You Ever)
 
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# 31 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:34
 
 
Casual sex is not what the thread was about, but sure we will overlook that for ya
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# 32 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:36
 
 
Someone said :
Do you test drive your lovers?
Or have you ever test driven them?

Have you ever started a relationship that you were not sure about, or did not feel had any chance, and keep going till you are sure there is nothing?
Or do you always only start something if there is a spark.

Also, have you ever test driven more than one lover at a time, and picked the one that worked best?

Its about caual something
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# 33 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:39
 
 
Is every first shag not a test drive?

I mean, you get around to the shagging and you KNOW if it's on or off based on it. Simple as. If there's no sexual chemistry you may as well sling yer hook.
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# 34 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:41
 
 
Someone said :

Could you give examples (personal experience is fine) of the difference betwen the two. Because I feel that is swaying towards 'open connections' which are definately casual.

Let's take John as an example, as I would not give a personal example, for obvious reasons.

John is going out with Peter, a boring lawyer, Mark, a hot brick-layer, and Steve, an average looking student.

For the past 6 months, John has been going out with them 3, sharing week-ends and holidays. Even sharing a night 2 days a week.
John is not sure that he even loves any of the 3 but he reckons that Peter might be a good party, Mark a hot date, and Steve might develop an emotional connection as they are similar. He likes them, but no spark exists at the start.

John wants to settle, either with the best match, or the best party, He is not romantic, he knows what matters in a relationship but could never find it in the same person.

Once he has chosen, he will either stay with only one of them, or none of them.
He never lied to them, but they do not necessarily know about the other 2. Only mark knows.
He never committed, or made serious plans. The others know that they are not technically exclusive, but they would introduce him as their boy friend when socializing, and he may have met the parents of Peter and Steve.

He will only introduce them to his parents if and when he has chosen.
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# 35 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:41
 
 
Sometimes you know there is sexual chemistry BEFORE the first shag. It can be apparent in the first snog, never mind shag. Correct, sometimes the first shag is a huge disappointment.
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# 36 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:44
 
 
Someone said :
Is every first shag not a test drive?

I mean, you get around to the shagging and you KNOW if it's on or off based on it. Simple as. If there's no sexual chemistry you may as well sling yer hook.

First shag constitutes a relationship? Jeez bunny boiler
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# 37 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:44
 
 
Could this 'test driving' be better known as dating? I've dated guys knowing there is absolutely no future but I enjoyed it for what it was.
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# 38 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:45
 
 
Excellent point, Elat. Dating, no problem. Test driving, no.
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# 39 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:46
 
 
isn't it the same thing?
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# 40 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:46
 
 
Someone said :

John is going out with Peter, a boring lawyer, Mark, a hot brick-layer, and Steve, an average looking student.

For the past 6 months, John has been going out with them 3, sharing week-ends and holidays. Even sharing a night 2 days a week.
John is not sure that he even loves any of the 3 ... John wants to settle, either with the best match, or the best party, He is not romantic, he knows what matters in a relationship but could never find it in the same person.

Once he has chosen, he will either stay with only one of them, or none of them.
He never lied to them, but they do not necessarily know about the other 2. Only mark knows.

I urge everyone to read this post in a Move Trailer voice... it sounds like a great romantic comedy!
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# 41 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:47
 
 
Someone said :
Is every first shag not a test drive?

I mean, you get around to the shagging and you KNOW if it's on or off based on it. Simple as. If there's no sexual chemistry you may as well sling yer hook.

Someone said :
Sometimes you know there is sexual chemistry BEFORE the first shag. It can be apparent in the first snog, never mind shag. Correct, sometimes the first shag is a huge disappointment.

A first shag may act AS a test drive.
But I am talking about something done on purpose, knowing you are doing it. Not just an impulse one acts on.

When you test drive a car, you know you are trying it, and that you will need to check some boxes before buying it. You could go with your gut feeling, but it is not necessarily what you expect from a test drive: you intend to compare qualities and advantages of different models.
Maybe the one you like the color and feeling of is a gas guzzler.

You may end you disregarding the feelings, if something matters more to you.

Someone said :
Could this 'test driving' be better known as dating? I've dated guys knowing there is absolutely no future but I enjoyed it for what it was.

Not the same thing.
A date can be the way someone decides to test drive. Just like a first shag can be the way someone decides to test drive.
But not everyone who first-shags or dates see it as a test drive.

And most test drives are more complex that these basic techniques.
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# 42 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:47
 
 
Someone said :

First shag constitutes a relationship? Jeez bunny boiler

You funny fucker.

Someone said :
Could this 'test driving' be better known as dating? I've dated guys knowing there is absolutely no future but I enjoyed it for what it was.

I was taking it in the context of the first post, it seems like blah is talking about seeing your potential victim as relationship material...
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# 43 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:51
 
 
Someone said :
But have you not had casual sex then a relationship developed from the casual sex.

bingo!

Someone said :
Not everyone is like you, SN.

and intrepid...pull in the claws.

Someone said :
You can have all the casual sex you like and that's grand. However, as Blah pointed out, that is not test driving for relationships.

why? do you not have sex in relationships?
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# 44 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:51
 
 
Someone said :

Let's take John as an example, as I would not give a personal example, for obvious reasons.

John is going out with Peter, a boring lawyer, Mark, a hot brick-layer, and Steve, an average looking student.

For the past 6 months, John has been going out with them 3, sharing week-ends and holidays. Even sharing a night 2 days a week.
John is not sure that he even loves any of the 3 but he reckons that Peter might be a good party, Mark a hot date, and Steve might develop an emotional connection as they are similar. He likes them, but no spark exists at the start.

John wants to settle, either with the best match, or the best party, He is not romantic, he knows what matters in a relationship but could never find it in the same person.

Once he has chosen, he will either stay with only one of them, or none of them.
He never lied to them, but they do not necessarily know about the other 2. Only mark knows.
He never committed, or made serious plans. The others know that they are not technically exclusive, but they would introduce him as their boy friend when socializing, and he may have met the parents of Peter and Steve.

He will only introduce them to his parents if and when he has chosen.

Polygamy I know this is biopic why not go for a foursome and have a test race.
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# 45 : Friday 14-8-2009 @ 16:54
 
 
Someone said :
isn't it the same thing?

Now I think of it like that, you have a point. However, when I first read the OP and thought about it, I was thinking of people playing games. 'Not sure, but entering into relationships with them just to see ..."

When you date people, you are not necessarily in a relationship with them.
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