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If Your Friend Was Being Cheated On - Would You Tell Them?
 
# 1 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 10:00
 
 
1. If you found out that your friend's boy/girlfriend was cheating on them, would you tell your friend?

2. If the roles were reversed, and your friend was cheating on their boy/girlfriend, would you tell that person?
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# 2 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 10:17
 
 
Oooh we discussed this in Limerick didn't we!

I do think I'd be annoyed if I was to find out my boyfriend was cheating on me and that my friend knew the whole time! There is loyalty with friendship and I think a friend owes it to you.

Of course I would tell me friend if their partner was cheating, if they were then happy to continue being oblivious to the fact, then that's fair enough too, it's not something I'd like to have to carry around on my conscience.

I would feel I was being dishonest to the friendship everytime I saw them
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# 3 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 10:27
 
 
anytime i have been in that position i have ALWAYS told my friend - half the time they shoot the messenger but they usually apologise and thank me

the last time i was chatting to a lad on msn - he was talking about his bf and then started talking about how he had an open relationship - he then, um, showed me proof of his, um, latest conquest (i'm SO not giving details), anyway, we kept chatting, he said we should go for a pint next time i'm in dublin, i said sure (as if) and then he gave me a link to his profile to see his other pics, he says bye, i says bye, and then i went to his profile - looking at the pics - all the usual stuff, then i see a link to his partner - i click on it - and there is my mate - my mate who is also my ex - waited a day and i had to ring him.

was very very messy, he got angry, upset, demanded proof, i said ok, he said he didnt want proof, got upset again etc... as far as he was concerned he wasn't in an open relationship, he kinda thought the bf was cheating but hid his head in the sand...

if it was me i'd want to know - i would hope i wouldnt be angry at my friend for telling me but i'd have to know....
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# 4 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 11:06
 
 
I would definately tell my friend, I wouldnt have to think twice about it.

To answer the second part of the OPs question(if your friend was cheating would you tell their partner) the answer is, no I wouldn't, but I wouldn't support my friend if they were cheating either, I have experienced this before and don't invite cheaters into my life, whether it is my business or not, I tend to judge people based on integrity, and cheating says a lot about people. I haven't lost friends because they were cheating, I have walked away from the friendships, why bother to be part of something like that?
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# 5 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 11:09
 
 
No, I wouldn't tell, who knows what is really going on behind their closed doors and why someone is with someone else too.
If Herself was cheating on me, I wouldn't want to know and if someone told me I'd wonder what their angle was.
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# 6 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 11:11
 
 
i wouldn't tell either. done once a few years back and lost a good friend. we just drifted apart as it could never be the same.
i would stay out of it and distance myself from the whole situation.
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# 7 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 11:51
 
 
Someone said :
i wouldn't tell either. done once a few years back and lost a good friend. we just drifted apart as it could never be the same.
i would stay out of it and distance myself from the whole situation.

but surely being a friend means being honest - if u lie to them then u have no respect for them or the friendship surely?
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# 8 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 13:01
 
 
Someone said :
i wouldn't tell either. done once a few years back and lost a good friend. we just drifted apart as it could never be the same.
i would stay out of it and distance myself from the whole situation.

So then you allow her response to change the type of friend you are? How does that make sense?.... I would be seriously pissed off with a friend who wouldnt pass on such info to me, serious enough to tell them to rack off.

@ Ery, is fidelity not part of your relationship conditions, and if so why would you not want to know?
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# 9 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 13:28
 
 
It would depend on how close I was to the person and the circumstances involved. If it was a really close friend I would probably have to tell them, as I would think that is my duty as a close friend. If the person later finds out that you knew but said nothing, it would probably double the shock.

It' a tricky one and every friendship is different so I don't think it's always black and white.
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# 10 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 13:30
 
 
its a hard one, i would mind my own business most of the time!
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# 11 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 13:43
 
 
Many years ago i was in what i thought was a long term relationship,(7 years).
Our relationship ended due to constant bickering with each other. It was only i found out i was been cheated on and that my partner had no interest in trying to repair our relationship.All my efforts to work on our relationship were in vain as there was a third person involved.
Many friends came out of the woodwork afterwords and told me they knew all along
what had been happening. To this day i feel that they let me down and would never consider them to be true friends. So ya, If a close friend of mine was been cheated on and the potential was there for them to be hurt, I would have to tell them.
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# 12 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 13:49
 
 
I feel the right thing to do is tell your friend - even if it destroys your friendship.

I know I'd end up feeling worse if my friend found out I'd known about the affair and didn't tell them.
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# 13 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 13:49
 
 
Oh yeah it would only be a close friend that I would tell, someone who I'd expect the same honesty back from
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# 14 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 13:52
 
 
sometimes though they know it deep down but want to be oblivious and you turn out the enemy. so as i said i distance myself.
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# 15 : Monday 29-3-2010 @ 13:52
 
 
If it was just an acquaintance then you'd just be sticking your nose in other people's business.
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