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Anyone Got Any Good Jokes
 
# 61 : Monday 23-6-2014 @ 01:14
 
 
How a Woman’s Mind Works
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother- of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it.
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."
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# 62 : Monday 23-6-2014 @ 01:32
 
 
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# 63 : Monday 23-6-2014 @ 06:29
 
 
I decided to go on the England World Cup diet. It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads
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# 64 : Monday 23-6-2014 @ 20:13
 
 
Whats the difference between Musaffah and Abu Dhabi?

People from Musaffah don't watch The Flinstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do.
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# 65 : Monday 23-6-2014 @ 20:30
 
 


*groan*
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# 66 : Tuesday 24-6-2014 @ 13:56
 
 
jeffrey dahmer was having dinner with his ma. she said to him,
" jeffrey, i dont like your friends."
he says,"thats ok ma,just eat the potatoes then."



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# 67 : Tuesday 24-6-2014 @ 15:24
 
 
That belongs in the bad joke thread.....
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# 68 : Tuesday 24-6-2014 @ 16:26
 
 
or the bad taste thread.(geddit?? ) i thought it was funny anyway.
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# 69 : Tuesday 24-6-2014 @ 18:13
 
 
I geddit!

It was kinda of funny but for me this is such an old joke, though recycled and with added Dahmer....

It used to be about a kid who didn't like grandad so mum says just eat the potatoes, then.
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# 70 : Wednesday 23-7-2014 @ 07:07
 
 
The banker, the worker and the unemployed man are in a cafe. The banker takes 9 of 10 biscuits on the table and nudges the worker "You want to watch out, that unemployed man has his eye on your biscuit."
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# 71 : Sunday 26-4-2015 @ 20:54
 
 
The US Secret Service is the only law enforcement agency in the USA that gets in trouble if a Black guy gets shot.
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# 72 : Tuesday 25-8-2015 @ 08:15
 
 
Whats the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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# 73 : Tuesday 25-8-2015 @ 13:16
 
 
love it
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# 74 : Tuesday 25-8-2015 @ 13:17
 
 
I've deleted all the German names of my phone. Its Hans free.
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# 75 : Tuesday 25-8-2015 @ 17:22
 
 
So, I was walking through Chicago and I saw that there was a "Muslim Book Store."

I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore, so I went in.

As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me.

I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked,"Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?"

The clerk said, "Fuck off, get out and stay out!"

I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
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