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A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum...
# 31 : Sunday 2-6-2013 @ 04:12
"Hey Corporal, I didn't see you at camouflage training today!"

"Thank you sir"
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# 32 : Monday 3-6-2013 @ 19:23
Was out for lunch earlier and I had to discreetly check whether a member with a pretty racy name upgraded properly.
# 33 : Monday 3-6-2013 @ 21:22
today I was walking past a group of young teenage or younger boys and one was shouting at another "do you wanna see my fanny?! I'll show you my fanny!!". lol
# 34 : Tuesday 16-7-2013 @ 21:44
The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. And you know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."
# 35 : Monday 2-9-2013 @ 20:02
Had an embarrassing moment yesterday. I brought the nieces and nephews to the local shop for an ice-cream. They were milling about the freezer and disrupting an old woman who had been there first.

Then I said loudly "mind the ollllllllllllllllld ......... let the other customer go first" then we all had to move away to the crisps section for a bit cos I couldn't hold it in.
# 36 : Monday 2-9-2013 @ 21:50
A man waved at me when I drove past the pub in local village near Mam's house where am staying. I was wearing helmet of course.
# 37 : Sunday 15-12-2013 @ 15:33
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

Because he only comes once a year.
# 38 : Sunday 15-12-2013 @ 17:08
A dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa....
# 39 : Monday 16-12-2013 @ 02:02
I akesed you not to mention that you btich.
# 40 : Monday 16-12-2013 @ 06:13
Someone said :
I akesed you not to mention that you btich.

# 41 : Monday 16-12-2013 @ 09:43
Someone said :
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

Because he only comes once a year.

# 42 : Monday 16-12-2013 @ 10:08
Hey .What's up?..If I tell you will you sit on it?..
# 43 : Tuesday 17-12-2013 @ 00:34
Haha you failed..

So did your Dad's condom...
# 44 : Tuesday 17-12-2013 @ 00:43
One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2011/12 was going to be cold or mild. The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with reading the signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes. In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter. However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, and the chief rang the National Weather Service in Michigan.

'Most likely it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer told the chief. Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood.

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.

'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.

As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.

A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. 'Yes,' he was told, 'it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied: 'Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.'
# 45 : Sunday 18-5-2014 @ 21:05
Just got a funny search engine referral #3 on Bing


Minecraft for mickeys?
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