How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

With Jammin

*points*

guy in cafe..

steak and kiddley pie please..

you mean steak and kidney???

thats what i said diddle I !!!!!!!!!!

did you hear about the magic tractor?
it turned into a field taa dah

Oh sweet jesus, help us all?

in fairness thats the usual reaction

Three mischievous old women were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home in suburban Philadelphia when an older gentleman walked by.

One of the women called out to him: "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."

The old man answered her, "There's no way you can guess it, you old fools."

One of the other women answered, "Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts, and we can tell your exact age."

Embarrassed just a little but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.

They asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, "You’re 87 years old!"

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old man asked, "How in the world did you guess?"

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison -- "We were at your birthday party yesterday!"

One day, Mr Smith, the president of a large corporation, Dave, into his office and said, "Dave, we're making some cutbacks, so either Barbara or Jack will have to be laid off."

Dave looked at Mr Smith and said "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."

the next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've a problem. I've got to lay you or Jack off, and I don't know what to do?"

Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got an headache."

How did the hermit pay for is home?

Alone.

Tom can do me Daley... tee hee!

Are there any good, bad jokes?

If they were any good, they would not be called bad jokes.

My boyfriend and I were sitting at a table at a bar, and I kept
staring at a drunken guy swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby
table.
My boyfriend asked, 'Do you know him?'
Yes, I sighed, he's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't
been sober since.'

My God! Says my boyfriend,
It’s hard to believe a person could go on celebrating that long


Who prematurely said?
Ok you can now switch off the fashion your seatbelt and no smoking sign.
Captain of the Hindenburg

How long does a public hair stay on a urinal?
Until it gets pissed off.