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Extreme Shyness, An Increasing Phenomenon ?
 
# 1 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 15:44
 
 
I've come to realise that I know quite a few people ( mostly male ) who are extremely shy. I don't mean reticent or refined, I mean people who nearly have a heart attack in the company of strangers and would quite happily say nothing for hours if they could. They do everything possible to avoid any kind of social interaction except with people they know well. They are quite intelligent, many very much so. Talking about this to a friend in the last few days, she was of the opinion that we are now seeing the fruits of the video games generation, they spent much of their teenage years in this type of activity instead of doing what we could consider more normal things. What do you think ?
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# 2 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 16:19
 
 
I am very shy, don't know about intelligent but 2 out of 3 aint bad?
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# 3 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 17:33
 
 
Only people who don't play video games think that games players can be equated with lack of social skills.
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# 4 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 18:02
 
 
Used to be extremely shy. It's sometimes easy to forget how I must look to the people I meet now.
I'm sure they think I'm at best friendly and chatty at worst a loudmouth and an attention seeker.

I keep forgetting these people never saw me before I came out of my shell (as it were).
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# 5 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 18:15
 
 
Someone said :
Only people who don't play video games think that games players can be equated with lack of social skills.

Plus a billion. Its not like reading books is a social activity and society managed to endure that archaic form of entertainment.
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# 6 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 18:23
 
 
I am this but I have Asperger Syndrome, whicb is an autism-spectrum disorder. I am only now beginning to slowly gain more confidence. Today for example I went into a particular cafe which was difficult for me, though noone else was a customer at the time (it was half an hour from closing). I would still be a virgin were it not for the net, because of my fear of crowds, which I have still not overcome. I am admittedly an avid gamer, and have been since my uncle brought me and his son to a computer course run by a company he worked for in 1990. Then I got my first game console (Megadrive) when i was 12, followed by the 32X, Saturn, PS1, then just playing PC, followed by a return to the console world with an XBox360 and Wii this year. I now regret bitterly that I was not more outgoing as an adolescent and I will never be able to get those wasted years back.
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# 7 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 18:26
 
 
My niece was incredibly shy and socially awkward for a long time, she spent too much time with her head in books and studying. Thank god, she is out enjoying people and life now!
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# 8 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 20:55
 
 
Eh no, shy people were around long before video games.
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# 9 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 21:08
 
 
Not so much on the shyness level, but in the old days, pre cell phone, if you saw someone walking down the road talking to oneself it was taken for granted that they were crazy.

Nowadays you see this all the time.

Recent studies have found that over 30% of people engaged in such activities are not in fact speaking to someone on the phone, just pretending to be.

It's the radiation from the phones I'm telling ye.
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# 10 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 21:14
 
 
Someone said :
Not so much on the shyness level, but in the old days, pre cell phone, if you saw someone walking down the road talking to oneself it was taken for granted that they were crazy.

Nowadays you see this all the time.

Recent studies have found that over 30% of people engaged in such activities are not in fact speaking to someone on the phone, just pretending to be.

It's the radiation from the phones I'm telling ye.

I thought it was a sign of too much money, i bet you feel you're always talking to yourself?
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# 11 : Sunday 17-6-2012 @ 21:17
 
 
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# 12 : Monday 18-6-2012 @ 00:15
 
 
I don't see any evidence that it's an increasing phenomenon.

The video game thing is people seeing two things together and incorrectly diagnosing a cause and effect relationship. It's true that painfully introverted people will tend to engage in solitary activities like reading or gaming more than the average. It doesn't mean these activities will turn you shy though. No more than going to the George will turn you gay.
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# 13 : Monday 18-6-2012 @ 07:05
 
 
Someone said :
I don't see any evidence that it's an increasing phenomenon.

The video game thing is people seeing two things together and incorrectly diagnosing a cause and effect relationship. It's true that painfully introverted people will tend to engage in solitary activities like reading or gaming more than the average. It doesn't mean these activities will turn you shy though. No more than going to the George will turn you gay.

Of course that's right, but do video games, etc. provide an easy escape route that previously didn't exist for shy people ? OP here, posting prompted by that conversation I mention with someone involved in education. We have a mutual friend who's a high academic achiever but unemployed since leaving college a few years ago. Simply unable to succeed at an interview.Avoids eye contact with most people he meets.
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# 14 : Monday 18-6-2012 @ 07:17
 
 
Someone said :

Of course that's right, but do video games, etc. provide an easy escape route that previously didn't exist for shy people ? OP here, posting prompted by that conversation I mention with someone involved in education. We have a mutual friend who's a high academic achiever but unemployed since leaving college a few years ago. Simply unable to succeed at an interview.Avoids eye contact with most people he meets.

Again that was like me. Maybe there are other reasons. Was he bullied in school? Maybe that has put him off mixing with people. That was the case with me. I was very bitter and felt everyone was against me. The eye-avoidant thing could also be A.S. it could be a mixture of both. Indeed some with A.S. are bullied because they are naturally shy. I was constantly called a "spa" in school, though I was only diagnosed after I pulled out of school because of the bullying. Any parallels with his situation?

Another factor could be Body Dysmorphic Disorder, as studies show they tend to be reclusive too.
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# 15 : Monday 18-6-2012 @ 10:12
 
 
I have a cousin who in his late teens got into a bit of trouble with the police and ended up losing his job. It must be about ten years since he lost that job and he's been living in his mother's sitting room every since then. He is 28 now and it doesn't look like anything will change. He isn't shy as such but he has absolutely no social graces and has no intention of even trying to re-integrate back into society. He has a lot of weird habits like constantly washing his hands, mutters to himself and basically ignores people if they say hello yet on Facebook you would think he was like any other 28 year old man.

He was always a bit strange but I think the isolation has driven him mad albeit in a quiet way. It's not the only case I know of grown men who for whatever reason have decided that they would rather lie in bed all day and watch TV all night than get a girlfriend and keep a steady job. And I think the recession has given some kids like this an excuse to not even try.
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