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Being Gay And Blind... The Ultimate Faux Pas?
 
# 46 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 12:27
 
 
my apologies for thinking this thread was twisted joke at the start obviously it wasn't meant to be. The OP read that way to me so again my apologies.
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# 47 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 12:27
 
 
Someone said :
How can you love loud music if you can't hear it Intrepid?

Only a small minority of registered deaf people are totally deaf.

Add the following to the mix... what deaf people pick up with their hearing aids/cochlear implants is not what you pick up with your ears. the following example will show you what I mean:



Hence your question is quite valid.

However the answer is:
1. Some do pick up the version/quality of music comparable to what you hear in the video of Dinah Shore.
2. Some just feel the vibrations. (Loud music tend to have strong vibrations.)
3. Some love dancing to the beat.

Sorry for hijacking your thread, Poloblack.

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# 48 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 13:42
 
 
hi... so this is a general reply to any of the questions etc raised above... the stuff about god etc was a joke so apologies if it read like a false thread but that is just my writing style. second yeah i always ask my friends opinions on people and that can be a big decider but mostly i find myself falling in lust with men who are confident enough to treat me normally and who are kind and look after me... bear in mind most of the men i meet are college guys so they are mostly sheep and the ones who are good to me really stand out. and i don't consider myself to have anything in common with the deaf, it's a totally different experience, i was a very successful person before i went blind and now i feel like that same person, experienceing the same things but with my eyes closed.
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# 49 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 13:46
 
 
I have a blind friend, we've often talked about his dating.
For him the biggest issue is the change over from girlfriend to public helper, as it were.

You see for this guy, he usually has a friend he walks around with when he's knocking around town and otherwise uses a staff in places he's familiar with. Journeys like the trip from the train to the campus gates, or the train to his home.
You might meet the guy up town with a friend and you'd ask him if he's free to grab a coffee. But asking him if he wants a coffee means immediately arranging wither or not you have time after the coffee to walk him to the trainstation or to meet back with his friend if they're not going for the coffee too.

Being a girlfriend, or a love interest is more complicated because if you want to be alone with the guy it means you need to have a set out plan of where you're going and how ye're getting back, or getting home or meeting a friend afterwards without making anyone feel like a burden. Now as a friend this isn't an issue, you spend 5 minutes in my friend's company and you realize he's the fucking nicest person you've ever met, but with dates or whatever else you would need to separate the fact that your playing the dating game and the fact that you're in the company of a person who cannot be up and left at a moment's notice.

I imagine as a blind gay man, there are a few issues. One the one hand you don't want any pity treatment, or people taking advantage of your situation, but on the other hand you do need the people who interact with you, friends or dates etc, not to be brain dead when it comes to the realities of being blind. Things like toilets, cafes in unusual places or loud busy venues are rife with problems which need thought. Not charity, or pity or help, just common sense and basic consideration.

In that respect I imagine dating a blind guy would actually be a pretty good levelling experience for a person yet at the same time, other then the previously mentioned basic consideration and common sense, it would be very little in the difference of dating a guy with 20/20.
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# 50 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 14:20
 
 
finally!! yes i couldn't agree more. can i ask how does your friend meet girls who aren't blind?? it's unfortunate but if i were straight i could have any amount of lovely blind girls but 10% of an already small blind population is very slim odds for me meeting anyone blind and gay.
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# 51 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 14:49
 
 
How does he meet girls who aren't blind? gosh I've never really though of it like that. He meets them because he socializes normally and because most girls aren't blind?

This guy is a singer and has acres of friends in various choirs, that's basically how I know him. Whenever I see him out he's always socializing with other musicians, the fact that blind people socialize together never actually struck me.

I mean you're in a choir or a sports club or a reading club or whatever and people say "right meeting's over who's going to the pub for a few?" and viola! you're socializing.

My advice is definitely invest time in new circles of friends and not just friends for the sake of friends but actual hobbyists or people you know though something you do.
Do you have any passions or hobbies that take your fancy? Yoga or singing in a choir, or joining a samba group, your profile says you're 23 years old fella, you should be well fit for something like team rowing or Gungfu training.

On the surface it seems like the long way round when all you want to do is meet someone. But when your doing it it won't feel like the long way round, you'll be developing a new skill and that new skill is both good for you (whatever it is), and the most essential of ammunition when socializing. Be it with somebody from your group (one of the other teams mate of friends of team mates) or somebody not related to the group at all: "So what brings you out?" "Oh, this is the weight lifting team I'm in, we're having an evening out"
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# 52 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 16:46
 
 
what you've said is all true, and this is exactlhy what i've been doing, funny you mention rowing, I'm going canooing next month, both because i like it and to meet new people. Anyway when i said "how does he meet sighted girls" what i meant is how does he get them to look beyond his blindness? I mean it's all very well enjoying someones company but sexual attraction is another thing.
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# 53 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 17:18
 
 
Just read this today in BBC news, that might be relevant
a blind contestant has reached the final stages of a US version of the television cooking competition, MasterChef and the article talks about some of the more sensual foods and tips on their preparation, perhaps poloblack you could play to your strenghts with regards to seducing a partner and showing them a side of things (like a romantic meal) which they wouldnt be able to "see" otherwise?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18491533
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# 54 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 18:55
 
 
Yeah i saw that, didn't read it yet, i'll read it now ... like i could just pop some some rhohipnoll in the romantic dinner :P
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# 55 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 20:21
 
 
Someone said :
what you've said is all true, and this is exactlhy what i've been doing, funny you mention rowing, I'm going canooing next month, both because i like it and to meet new people. Anyway when i said "how does he meet sighted girls" what i meant is how does he get them to look beyond his blindness? I mean it's all very well enjoying someones company but sexual attraction is another thing.

This is just me hypothesizing, but the best way is personality I think.

I mean there are two kinda of people who would date a blind person and one type who wouldn't. The one type who wouldn't are prejudice people who think having a handicap means you're basically not dating material.
Then the two types who would are those who judge an individual on their individual merits and decide your good enough to date, and those who are prejudice like before but who see having a blind partner as having pros which out weight the cons.
You have to watch out for these people becasue they're a little on the "fucking nuts" side. Kinda wheelchair pushing, look how kind I am handing him his chicken drumstick weirdos.

so that rules out 66% of people, colon capitol pea.

PS. does your screen reader read out everything?

Beatboxing motherfucker Pf Pf tsh tsh Pf Pf tsh tsh boom shakalaka boom boom shakalaka boom bitches in the hood.
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# 56 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 21:03
 
 
Someone said :
[...] but 10% of an already small blind population is very slim odds for me meeting anyone blind and gay.

Well, if you mean "meet" in a romantic or sexual way, there are still the classified adverts, whether here or on other sites. If mathematical probability rules apply, the reduced numbers (and it's more like 5% than 10%) means it will take a longer time.

I don't know how much of a "blind community" there is, but if you wanted to include the simply social meaning of "meeting" in your statement, then you could consider doing what the founders of Greenbow did fifteen or sixteen years ago. A handful of Deaf gay and lesbian people decided there was a need for a social group, so they set one up. You have two routes to do that: the gay community and the blind community. The eope who set up Greenbow started with the gay community. They went to GCN to ask for help, and out of that they called a meeting of those who were interested, and hey presto, over a decade later they're still goign strong (and running a multiple-choice quiz for Dublin Pride (Thursday 28th, Nealon's Capel St, 7.30 pm, €10.00).) Then, when they'd made a few baby steps, they decided to give themselves a profile in the Deaf community by appearing on Hand On, RTÉ's programme by and for Deaf people.

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# 57 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 21:06
 
 
Someone said :

PS. does your screen reader read out everything?

Beatboxing motherfucker Pf Pf tsh tsh Pf Pf tsh tsh boom shakalaka boom boom shakalaka boom bitches in the hood.

I would be interested in knowing if the screen-reader reads formatted stuff and tells you it's formatted. Like the following

italics
bolded
underlined
a few smileys coming eight up:
" text hidden under a spolier "
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# 58 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 21:21
 
 
Being blind never stopped Stevie Wonder, Claude Monet, Andrea Bocelli, James Joyce and Greek epic writer Homer from acheiving great success.
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# 59 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 21:22
 
 
Someone said :
Being blind never stopped Stevie Wonder, Claude Monet, Andrea Bocelli, James Joyce and Greek epic writer Homer from acheiving great success.

yeah, but it stopped all the guys you didn't hear of.
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# 60 : Tuesday 19-6-2012 @ 21:30
 
 
Someone said :
yeah, but it stopped all the guys you didn't hear of.

Oh - very profound!
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