Well I thought I might give my two cents
First of its great that you’ve decided that you want to figure out who you are and gain a little more stability in your life, not many people take this step towards self understanding so its really nice you have to courage to do so.
There are many possibilities of who or what you may be, but I think the emphases should fall on the way there should be no pressure to define yourself, I don’t think life’s about labels and destinations but more about the understanding and the experiences we face which help to create the people we are…
I hope I am not placing to much weight on your words but you said you had slept with so any people… maybe that’s where this anxiety is arising from as you have had physical relationships with then what about the emotional one’s?
This is something you should definitely think about as sometimes in life relations between too people can be unbalanced and this can cause… or more like reveal underlining anxieties and worries later on down the line, once we come aware of them we can take them on and over come the challenges they posses.
You did mention that you wanted to settle down, so I take it that you have yet to find that person to do so with… again sometimes the fear of being alone can create conflict within us and add the psychological state that alcohol can induce as well as the social pressures to “conform” we can sometimes do things that we regret.
Personally speaking I think the recent events was quiet the blessing as it has produced the present circumstances and although they may be confusing it grants you an amazing opportunity to figure out things about yourself and make your life a more fulfilling one!
About your attraction to guys, have you considered that it may be there qualities you are drawn to?
Is there a familiar quality that links them all??
Maybe this is what you feel drawn towards and because you have yet to find it with a woman? At times people can subconsciously go for that instead because it seems perhaps the easier thing to do…
Taking from the assumption that you were not emotionally intimate with these guys your worries are based on there physical characteristic which although you may be innately attracted too you don’t really desire…
Honey, the most important thing right now is not to worry about this, as deep down you know what you want and the only person you have to make happy right now is yourself, next time you feel attracted to a guy try to think why?
If all goes to all it really is ok to be bi, as love can not and as we all bear witness will not, be defined or caged by our physical representations… don’t be afraid to look into others our yourself as you can be surprised at what you can really see…
Right now you should be taking it easy on yourself as emotional chaos can really ripple out in our lives, I wouldn’t suggest jumping into a relationship at this time, as the other person can sometimes only bring more ebb if the emotional tides within us are stormy… besides you deserve to treat yourself better right now!
And remember no matter what I'm pretty sure a lot of people on here and in your life will be supporting you every step of the way…
So there’s no rush to run your path right now, as were all here to walk with you
Oein
