Queer could be seen as fully embracing your homosexuality whereas straight acting sounds like there's a bit of closet there. Utter nonesense but the words by themselves could be made to convey that view.

In my opinion it is a stupid way of expressing tacit approval of those stereotypes, aside from the fact that its utter bullshit.

Why is it utter bullshit though? I'm serious here. I honestly can't see how it could be construed as more offensive than calling you queer (i.e. strange, different, wrong).

In fact, I honestly can't see how it could be construed as offensive at all.

I hate when people use the word queer! (and as much as I love you Borstal you always do ). It's just that I grew up with it being used as a vulgar term and hearing it literally makes makes me cringe.

Could be. But I still absolutely despise the use of the word queer.

And anyway, most people I know that would happily describe themselves as 'straight acting' are out and proud gay men. They see the 'camp' stereotype around them (and it does exist. Stereotypes always come from truth.) and they don't want to be associated with it.

Queer really makes my skin crawl too, to be honest. I really don't even like typing it. And I'll never say it if I can help it. If I'm talking about the other gay forum, I'll call it qid; never by its full name.

By the way, I don't have the same reaction to gay, fag, homo or even bum buddy.

Using the term "straight acting" perpetuates those stereotypes, though. What makes it such a hideous term, in my opinion, is that it's exclusively used within our community. If we don't respect and accept ourselves for who we are, why should the rest of society do so?

I hate all of them.....but me and my brothers when younger used to always call each other queers and fags etc and I'd never bat an eyelid I really don't know why it makes my skin crawl so much now.

Okay. We'll say that it does put up another boundary in our community. But so do the gays who happily say they're a queen or a twink or a bear.
If guys can't use the term 'straight acting' because it seems to be anti-gay in some way, what term could they use to describe themselves and their demeanour? 'Masculine' has been mentioned but I personally think that's too broad a term.

Essentially what I'm asking is, if we got the phrase 'straight acting' banned tomorrow, how could those men who identify as such describe themselves?

Those other terms are much more acceptable labels because they don't invoke negative stereotypes.


Masculine or butch would be much more acceptable, in my opinion.

Why is it utter bullshit? In my opinion because the expression 'straight acting' can have no meaning of any worth. Does it mean they pretend to be interested in women? Do they belch and fart uproariously? Maybe they play GAA, or maybe they listen to rock? Perhaps they are agressive and unshaved? Do they spend days watching matches at the expense of antiquing furniture? What exactly is 'straight acting'?

The word only has any meaning as away of saying I'm not one of 'those gays'. Thereby continuing and reinforcing stereotypes. IMO.

The use of "queer" by us originated as a form of defiance, of taking the term of abuse and turning it around. The term "straight acting" is a rejection of a type of gay person, and buys into the notion of "passing", and suggests that being heterosexual is better than being gay.

(That doesn't mean the word "queer" is used in only that way. I posted an example here the week after the Dublin Pride Parade. A Dublin Bus driver announced on a bus my colleague was on that the bus was not using its usual route because "the queers are all marching". He, it can safely be said, wasn't using language as an emacipatory methodology to deconstruct social control as a post-modern mode of unmasking heteronormative oppression. He was just a bigot.)

+1. What is 'gay acting'?

I see nothing wrong with some gays describing themselves as straight acting. Its an important distinction for me as I only like straight acting guys. I cringe with embarrassment every time I see that gay guy on Coronation st. Its the typical stereo type. The gay guys on Eastenders are much more realistic.

Johnny Weir is the only camp guys I like simply because he is so outrageously camp - and talented.

I absolutely loathe the term queer - especially if it is used by gays themselves giving it some sort of legitimacy. This was a term I associate with the school yard and work place bully and evokes many painful times and memories.

Do you not see what's wrong with that? You yourself are casting dispersions on an entire section of the gay community particularly the one most likely to have been the victims of bullying, it's like an internalised form of homophobia.