A few months ago - I met this really nice guy online, we text loads, we talked loads on the phone, I thought the "real deal" but twice we failed to show... on a date.. he was looking for xxx I wasnt really looking for that but rather take it slowly... I gave him another chance but on date three he didnt show... the first tiime it was hurt, second time rejection and the third time it didnt matter
On another occassion after plucking up the courage sober to speak to a guy who was on his own in the G, he was cute found him very attractive and we had a lot in common, we laughed alot, I bought him a drink... I kissed him... we danced... it was an unplanned perfect date to be honest, than while getting me a drink at the bar, he started kissing this other guy, I felt hurt and up set by it all, I went up and said told him whisperiing in his ear to go fuck off with him self and walked away. He had no reaction just smiled and went back kissing the lad.
I was annoyed at my reaction - so after talkiing to some random girl about it who was with her brother haviing a drink, I decided to apologise for my reaction to this guy, my thinking was well I wouldnt do that on some one... I did apologise and this really pissed him off, really annoyed him, he trIED to tell me I didnt have too, I was right etc.
I was really up set by the whole thing - and annoyed, and didnt venture out for a while on the scene... I have learned that some times its just polite conversation and is just a kiss, or a grope and it is no more... it does toughen you up
Last night in Glitz I bumped into a friend of a friend and we got chatting - I had thought he was cute but perhaps I was not his type he asked who my type was and I pointed out some one on the dance floor, I asked who his type and he leaned into me getting closer, and we ended up kissing, bumpiing and grindiing on the dancefloor... it was lots of fun.
The next part I am not totally proud of as it was my 1st time to do this - he said follow me to the toilets, I followed, we groped we kissed, we bumped, groped, touched, kissed each others bodys, it was hot... he told me he wanted me, he wanted me inside of him, I told him I wasnt that guy, that despite this quick route for pleasure I had more respect for him than that, we left one after the other after several more passionate kisses... He said he founded it hot that I didnt take him.
than I was ignored on the dance floor, and he ended up getting off with another guy - the funny thing is I felt null, I didnt feel up set or annoyed, or happy nor did any of his gay friends say that was out of line they laughed.... do we just become null in the hunt for the nice genuine guy where there is a conncection and initial attraction ?