Myself and my husband are broadening our horizons a little, and are looking into meeting similar gay couples. On searching, it seems that the main focus of an internet trawl is about sex (and normally it's a couple for a third rather than couple seeking couple). I found one site (meetgaycouples - surprisingly simple!) but the chaps are all in the US. How do you go about finding them here?

On a similar note, we had a chat with some friends...and we both couples sort of admitted to having had some interesting sexual experiences lately. We agreed that although it is a wrench, we mustn't get tied to comparing ourselves against straight couples for norms. I guess I do agree with that, but it's their views that shape the majority view of gay couples - the promiscuity issue. I don't like to be judged.

Is it so weird for gay couples to want to share sexual experiences with peers, without becoming separately promiscuous or threatening the emotional bond between each other? I think it is entirely possible to be emotionally intelligent enough...

I'm sure there are similar couples on regular gay dating sites like gaydar et al that are interested in meeting couples. It's not something I could do personally but each to their own.

edit: odd poll. Couples have sex with other couples all the time. Most are fine.

Is this about swinging or meeting other couples for meals/chat

It is sort of about both. And the debate as to if one can search for both.

Maybe the question should be really, should you be a couple? Because if you are involved with someone,surely thats the point. Am i missing something here?

now why would you say its just gay couples

My partner and I are straight, or i was bi curious, lol and only after expressing our fantacies has it gone further. There has to be trust between each other. instead of one cheating on the other

and Im going further into exploring with his knowledge

so you cannot place people in boxes

Miss Roisine

Yes you can have platonic friendships with other couples.
You can meet them through many of the social groups that exist.
...or through pubs or websites.

Yes you can have sexual relations with other couples.
You can meet them through many of the websites that exist (even though there might not be an Irish website specifically for couples meeting other couples for sex).
You can also meet other couples in pubs.

Whether any of this causes your relationship to break up depends on how perfect you and your partner are for each other.
Even taking that into account - people change over time.

I see your point totally, but I guess that is part of what I wanted to raise. The very questioning our coupledom, on these grounds, I think is as a result of measuring up against traditional values.

We are a very very close couple and liberal to the extent that we are now experimenting in this small way. Our emotional connection remains the same, and the intimacy obtained from knowing your partner in this way is pretty deep. The whole premise of this discussion is about how many others think that we can explore this lifestyle successfully, and are there others engaging in the same.

put mirrors on the ceiling. Definitely no emotional hoo boos then.

Totally yes, mirrors are always a good addition!

Be care full of opening pandoras box?

For me been there and done that. My partner and I of 5 years had a wonderful existence together until we "experimented". It destroyed the entire dynamic of the relationship, doubt, jealousy and suspicion followed. As a result we are no longer together. I would never go down that road again.

Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear that.

It is interesting though because there's such a big polyamory community - and swinging community, I imagine that some don't suffer the same fate. What makes some susceptible to those problems and some not?

Probably because one person in a couple just isn't able to handle non monogamy. I'd say there are lots of reasons though.

Mine went to opposite way to Gerdubs. We started off open from the very start and after a couple of years it slowly evolved into a monogamous relationship by itself. Now I couldn't imagine any of us fucking someone else.