Someone said :
RC shite. Who wants a pat on the back, I know I don't. What makes you think that honesty will get anyone anywhere? Try reading Ibsen's The Wild Duck
if you think that.
It's much better to keep things going, getting what happiness from the days as you can, avoiding hurt to the significant other, as far as possible, than to cause mayhem, unhappiness, emotional trainwrecks, when you're both pushing seventy. What's the point in all this moralism, self denial, double standard, self deception and hypocracy? No-one's partner is going to be happy about what's happening, but we learn to live with it, even if that means pretending not to know.
I can understand having that attitude if you have no respect for your partner.
And I can understand how one could get into a situation where one has no respect for their partner.
Sometimes people settle for someone they don't love because being in a relationship makes life easier in other ways.
I can also understand the feeling of "why should I deny myself a little bit of pleasure, when I've put up with so much crap for so long".
I guess if you have an affair you are prepared for the eventuality of your partner finding out and you make your choice, you decide if it is worth the risk for you.