Have a few friends who are going through exactly this at the moment. No matter what you decide, it is not going to be easy for you, your wife, your children, your family and your friends. Some will be there with you, others will not want any hand act or part of this... but that is life.
In some cases, the kids do not talk to their father. It will take time. Be prepared to have the kitchen sink thrown at you. BUT, everything heals in time. People adapt and change and depending on your own life, it will get easier to deal with.
One friend has been dealing with this for years and has finally accepted the eventuality of the whole scenario. His wife, obviously upset, has accepted this also and moved on. His children intially, wanted nothing to do with him, however, have accepted their father's situation and there are not issues now, this has taken quite a few years.
Best of luck to you....