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Coming Out Advice Please
# 31 : Monday 21-11-2016 @ 03:00
to summarize, do not feel ashamed, but do not feel irresponsible either.
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# 32 : Tuesday 7-2-2017 @ 07:26
Thanks for the reply. Am still totally confused.
# 33 : Tuesday 7-2-2017 @ 14:01
When you come out to them they will likely initially be upset and even angry but it is better to tell them the truth rather then them either finding out by catching you in the act or from a friend. Rather then prolong the lie it is best to just tell her. I can only imagine that it must have been extremely difficult to except your sexuality yourself, but you have to be who you are. It is hard to tell the wife that you were unfaithful and that you can not control your feelings anymore. There is also a risk the wider family will turn against you. This is more likely because of the upset and the secret, rather than your sexual orientation.

You have a very difficult decision to face. I cannot tell you what course of action to take only you can decide and if you need help maybe talk to a support group or someone who has come out to the wife after years of marriage.
# 34 : Tuesday 7-2-2017 @ 17:11
naughty guy,
# 35 : Wednesday 20-9-2017 @ 21:55
Been a long time since l was on here. Thanks for your advice.
# 36 : Tuesday 17-10-2017 @ 22:09
Are you 104
# 37 : Tuesday 17-10-2017 @ 23:51
Coming out is not going to be easy especially with 2 kids in the mix but no one here is going to give you good advice because it is not like there is a standard "Coming out" rule book and most of the people replying telling you to go for it are most likely single gay males who have never had kids so have no idea what that is like, what it is like to have that extra dimension to coming out.

Here's my advice, if you really want to come out do it subtly, as much as you want to burst out of the closet it is not just you that matters, in ways you are also dragging your kids and wife out of the closet too so consider their feelings too. Don't be a dick about it and when the time comes to get the hell out of THEIR lives so that they can move on just do it because it is you who changed the goal posts not them so accept the consequences of your actions and instead of trying to build walls build bridges where you all agree that things could have been done better if circumstances were different but they weren't so you all make the best with what you have and build on that instead of looking for reasons to hate each other. That's all you can ever do now, try salvage something and try not hate each other in the process.
# 38 : Tuesday 13-3-2018 @ 23:04
Hope everything works out for you eventually
# 39 : Wednesday 14-3-2018 @ 10:03
Someone said :
Been a long time since l was on here. Thanks for your advice.

Have you not told her yet ?
# 40 : Thursday 6-6-2019 @ 13:01
Im was married and have 2 sons too, whats important is knowing who you are on the inside, shame is part of the acceptance process x
# 41 : Monday 10-6-2019 @ 09:39
Someone said :
Im was married and have 2 sons too, whats important is knowing who you are on the inside, shame is part of the acceptance process x

That's an interesting take on it.
Do you mean the overcoming of it, or some permanency of it?

Do you ever feel that shame as a positive driving energy, or as an ever present battle to accept to fight again and again?
# 42 : Monday 10-6-2019 @ 17:34
Have a few friends who are going through exactly this at the moment. No matter what you decide, it is not going to be easy for you, your wife, your children, your family and your friends. Some will be there with you, others will not want any hand act or part of this... but that is life.

In some cases, the kids do not talk to their father. It will take time. Be prepared to have the kitchen sink thrown at you. BUT, everything heals in time. People adapt and change and depending on your own life, it will get easier to deal with.

One friend has been dealing with this for years and has finally accepted the eventuality of the whole scenario. His wife, obviously upset, has accepted this also and moved on. His children intially, wanted nothing to do with him, however, have accepted their father's situation and there are not issues now, this has taken quite a few years.

Best of luck to you....
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