I'm prone to comfort eating / eating emotionally.
It's not as bad as the more severe illnesses like anorexia or bulimia, but it's none the less an insidious like fucker.
As Stephen Fry put it (I;m paraphrasing) eating disorders are especially difficult becasue, if you were, say an alcoholic, you could try giving up alcohol and staying off it, avoid situations where it is consumed.
Eating disorders however, need to be tamed because you need food to live. You HAVE to come face to face with your disorder every day several times and constantly moderate it in order to live as a healthy person.
If I may ask, Moneypenny, do you feel your disorder is centered more in using your self image to try feel good about yourself, i.e., you wish to be thinner, and you can control that by purging, so "why would you not". i.e., would you say it's MORE about the food and yourself image, then emotional chastisement?
Or, do you feel it's more about being able to control and change your emotions. i.e., (and this is an extreme example) some people with depression might self harm as a way of forcing themselves into feeling 'different', like "well it's not great, but at least I've forced myself into a change of feelings" and that ability to 'jump start' yourself out of the gigantic grayness becomes addictive.
After all it's easier and less hopeless to deal with a sharper, smaller more obvious pain like a razor cut, then a gigantic, confusing, never ending toothache of depression.
Sorry if those question are very sensitive.
My system, if / when I suffer from depression (i've had a bad two week just there, but I;m coming out the other side now and I feel l happy, calm and "forgived") is retreating, spending time alone, forgiving myself, being kind to myself, letting myself be selfish, and waiting it out.
I'm also an emotional eater, but, like NEVER the twain shall meet as I would be susceptible to "trying to eat my depression away" If ever I didn't keep something like that in check.
Right now (to keep them separate) what I do is, if it's an everyday situation and I want a treat, "ouu! chips and a sandwich up town"
I'll run a quick check; "do I want a treat, because it'll be nice and one ought to occasionally treat one'self? or do I want a treat because I'm depressed, and my subconscious is trying to eat my sadness away?"
If "it'll just be nice and I want a treat and sure, life is for living" I do it.
Because life is for living, and there's no point being a misery guts or chastising yourself every day, even when you're actually just being a normal, decent person, going for a sandwich and chips up town because it'll be nice.
If "depressed, and I may be trying to eat my blues away" then no way.
I know it doesn't work (won't fix it), and my inner strict-parent steps in and tells me to go relax, speak with a friend, play a computer game, watch a good film, or watch comedy. "food isn't for that" I'd tell myself and I find as a system, it works for me.