This must be incredibly difficult for your wife. She didn't realise she was marrying a transgender person at the time you got hitched. And to be fair, it is going to change the chemistry of the relationship. She's entitled to be confused, frustrated, angry..
She's also entitled to have mixed feelings about it over the years.
I think with a big announcement like that, you also have to give her an option to get out of marriage because it's not what she signed up for, and arguably, you knew going into it that you had these desires but didn't share them.
By the way- there's nothing wrong with you, and you shouldn't change, but it doesn't mean she's obliged to like it or stay with you.