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Lessons Learnt.
# 1 : Tuesday 19-11-2019 @ 17:06
I recently became single, last Wednesday to be exact, and it came with it a mixed bag of emotions. For the past five months I have had the pleasure of spending time with a beautiful, funny, loving woman. I tried very hard not to fall for this person. I tried very hard not to give her my heart and no matter how hard I tried it still happened. I fell very much in love. To say it was a shock that it ended would be somewhat true. Being in love was such a beautiful experience and I would not have wanted to take that journey with anyone else but her.

Our break up was quick. On the day we broke up we exchanged texts. More on my part. Eventually I got a 'I've been doing a lot of thinking about us' text. So I asked the question that I didn't want to ask and that was 'do you wanna break up'. Yes was the answer. Explanations were given and we said our goodbye's. This I have to admit was the nicest break up I've ever gone through. I did ask was there anything I could have done differently and I was very kindly assured that I didn't do or say anything wrong and that it just wasn't meant to be and I wasn't to overthink it. That was such a lovely thing for her to say considering I overthink a lot of things.

I have a condition called Bipolar Disorder and in 2018/2019 I completed a DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) course. This course is a four module learning course. The modules you study/work at are Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, Mindfulness and Interpersonal Effectiveness. I firmly believe that by doing the DBT course I was best able to deal with this breakup.

To say I am heartbroken would be somewhat true. That goes without saying. I am heartbroken. We may not have been together long but we managed to cram a lot into those five months. I never meant to fall so quickly and so deep but I did.

I am learning from this experience. I am learning that falling in love is an amazing experience. I am learning that it is okay to be vulnerable with someone and I am learning that crying does not mean you are weak. It means that you are human, your are fallible and you will heal. You will love again and you will get past this.

Thanks for reading. Apologies if I have repeated things I've said.
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# 2 : Tuesday 19-11-2019 @ 22:49
Sorry Moneypenny it didn't work out for you but your writing shows a real emotional intelligence and you will surely find love again, thanks for a most interesting read.
# 3 : Tuesday 19-11-2019 @ 23:03
Hi Moneypenny, just wanted to say I was sorry to hear about the break up and that I thought it was good that you felt able to talk about it here. You never know who else benefits from the things that get mentioned on message boards. In the meantime I hope that writing it down maybe helped you a bit too. Thanks.
# 4 : Tuesday 19-11-2019 @ 23:07
Ah Butters.

Look at you making me feel better. I hope that in the future I will meet someone and move on. For now I am going to just look after myself and enjoy life for what it is. Thank you for reading my post and your kind words.
# 5 : Tuesday 19-11-2019 @ 23:14
Hello Talorcan.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I love Gaire and I have always felt welcomed. I do hope someone can benefit from what I have wrote. Writing has always been my go to coping mechanism. I wear my heart on my sleeve at times. Once again thank you.
# 6 : Tuesday 19-11-2019 @ 23:31
That's a a great post and attitude to have, I'm happy you found love and you enjoyed it. I hope Tig get to experience again x
# 7 : Wednesday 20-11-2019 @ 09:54
Hi Sortedguy.

Thank you so much for your kind words. Hopefully I will experience love again. I'm forever hopefully. Hope is such a strong feeling/emotion/concept and one I try to always have.
# 8 : Wednesday 20-11-2019 @ 14:48
Where did you do the DBT course moneypenny if you don't mind me asking and what did you find helpful in doing it?
# 9 : Wednesday 20-11-2019 @ 15:35
@Pow Pow.

So I did my DBT course through my mental health provider which is based in Inchicore Mental Health Clinic in Inchicore. That clinic is attached to St James's Hospital. I was an inpatient in St James Hospital and it was suggested by my Psychiatrist that this would be a good course to do as an outpatient.

I found as time went on that studying the different modules helped me to cope with times of distress because I was putting what I learnt into practise. It also helped me to cope with my emotions and how to regulate them. Also by doing this course I was able to reduce my self harming i,e cutting & purging food.

It's aimed at people who have Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder.

I hope this helps.
# 10 : Wednesday 20-11-2019 @ 17:26
Thanks for the info

Hope everything works out allright with you.
I have Bipolar and BPD myself and my private health insurance dosen't cover a DBT course so I have to go down the public route. How long were you waiting?
# 11 : Wednesday 20-11-2019 @ 19:21
You are very welcome. I hope so to. I'm not going to allow myself go down the route of problematic behaviours to cope with my break up. I actually don't know how long I was waiting. My Doctor only told me about the course when a spot came available. So the time period between being told about the course and starting the course was very small.
# 12 : Friday 22-11-2019 @ 17:42
Every experience, is our teacher and the person too. If you can say, Thank you for the lesson and turn the next page. I wish you good luck, going forward and hope you find happiness you desire some day.
# 13 : Friday 22-11-2019 @ 22:34
Sorry to hear moneypenny. You are a lovely,down to earth person.
Hope your doing better these days.
Haven’t seen u in a few years now
# 14 : Sunday 24-11-2019 @ 13:11
Thank you for your lovely words Jesus. What you said really resonates with me. I too wish you find happiness if you haven't as of yet.
# 15 : Sunday 24-11-2019 @ 13:13
Thank you so much Beckie. I am doing well. I hope you are too. I've been busy with college, work, life & more. It has been a while. See you soon hopefully.
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