I recently became single, last Wednesday to be exact, and it came with it a mixed bag of emotions. For the past five months I have had the pleasure of spending time with a beautiful, funny, loving woman. I tried very hard not to fall for this person. I tried very hard not to give her my heart and no matter how hard I tried it still happened. I fell very much in love. To say it was a shock that it ended would be somewhat true. Being in love was such a beautiful experience and I would not have wanted to take that journey with anyone else but her.
Our break up was quick. On the day we broke up we exchanged texts. More on my part. Eventually I got a 'I've been doing a lot of thinking about us' text. So I asked the question that I didn't want to ask and that was 'do you wanna break up'. Yes was the answer. Explanations were given and we said our goodbye's. This I have to admit was the nicest break up I've ever gone through. I did ask was there anything I could have done differently and I was very kindly assured that I didn't do or say anything wrong and that it just wasn't meant to be and I wasn't to overthink it. That was such a lovely thing for her to say considering I overthink a lot of things.
I have a condition called Bipolar Disorder and in 2018/2019 I completed a DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) course. This course is a four module learning course. The modules you study/work at are Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, Mindfulness and Interpersonal Effectiveness. I firmly believe that by doing the DBT course I was best able to deal with this breakup.
To say I am heartbroken would be somewhat true. That goes without saying. I am heartbroken. We may not have been together long but we managed to cram a lot into those five months. I never meant to fall so quickly and so deep but I did.
I am learning from this experience. I am learning that falling in love is an amazing experience. I am learning that it is okay to be vulnerable with someone and I am learning that crying does not mean you are weak. It means that you are human, your are fallible and you will heal. You will love again and you will get past this.
Thanks for reading. Apologies if I have repeated things I've said.