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The Long Process Of Coming Out
# 46 : Sunday 2-1-2005 @ 02:42
Side-note: Charlie, don't turn your nose up a jeep and 200 acres. I mean, land is land, ya know?
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# 47 : Sunday 2-1-2005 @ 02:48
mad culchies,ctd,does that mean that you might like to share your positive experiences on radio,pretty please?
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# 48 : Sunday 2-1-2005 @ 09:29
Come back Sheebeen, we all want to know what’s happening?
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# 49 : Sunday 2-1-2005 @ 17:07
I might do Butters. Can you use a distortion device on my voice so i sound like I've smoked 40 fags a day for the last 30 years?
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# 50 : Monday 3-1-2005 @ 21:37
Hi all, thanks for all the kind words!! Back in the big smoke again, family is being pretty supportive now - thank god its such a relief!

My mum asked me not to go to gay bars though! she thinks i will be taken advantage of in such places! I know she is just worried for me is all.

I suggested she speak with someone about it - problem is she feels she can't speak to any of her friends because they will look down on her and my family. Anyone know of a support group for parents of gay children?
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# 51 : Monday 3-1-2005 @ 21:45
check out this link at the Gay Health Project Sheeben:

http://www.gayhealthproject.com/content/templates/comingout.asp?a etc ...
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# 52 : Monday 3-1-2005 @ 21:47
Thanks Kev for the link, will have a look at it! and possibly show it to them too!
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# 53 : Monday 3-1-2005 @ 22:17
Marting - Have her call the gay switchboard, or do it yourself, and get the phone number of the parents' group. Their phone number is 01 8721055, or their website is http://www.gayswitchboard.ie/.

I trust you are going to take a trip out of town and visit her in a few weeks or so? She may have got her head around it now but still she be she and you be you so don’t expect any special treatment because you’re waving the pink flag. When she meets the other half, don’t think that she is going to get any special treatment either because she will be scrutinized in exactly the way as you’re brother or sister’s (opposite sex) partner.

Where family are concerned when you come out, some things change but most remain exactly the same.
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# 54 : Tuesday 4-1-2005 @ 13:50
Happyhead i would not expect any special treatment nor would I want any! It was just a matter of letting her know who i really am, and that i'm not any different because i have a girlfriend rather than a boyfriend
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# 55 : Tuesday 4-1-2005 @ 14:46
Parents can't help worrying about their children's welfare, it is like breathing, and it is natural for her to be afraid of and worried about what she does not know or understand. Time will help and tell her about things (not graphic detail no parent needs that) but keep her up to date on your life it will help her understand
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# 56 : Tuesday 4-1-2005 @ 15:00
Congratulations Sheeben, its a big step, you have balls

Try not to worry too much about your family & Mum for now, I sure they will come around ok. Give it time & plenty of it - the hardest bit is done .

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# 57 : Tuesday 4-1-2005 @ 15:17
here's another link that may be helpful:

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# 58 : Tuesday 4-1-2005 @ 18:41
Sheeben - It was just a matter of letting her know who i really am, and that i'm not any different because i have a girlfriend rather than a boyfriend
Good for you. On another point, I wouldn’t be too concerned about the fact that she is wary of discussing it with friends at this stage. She’s coming to terms with it herself so that sort of thing usually comes with time.

I honestly don’t think you can explain the feeling of being accepted by your family as being gay when you come out. It’s one of those things you have to experience yourself. Some people have a remarkably easy time of it but most become anxious beforehand. I knew one guy who was worried sick and when he grasped the nettle, his four brothers actually threw a party for him which proves how wrong he was. They obviously suspected already and there was more than him relieved. That’s not to say there isn’t the odd horror story but for the most part, family is family and while it may rise a bit of dust initially, something so trivial as a gay member will never damage life long bonds. If anything the openness it brings means people grow closer rather than driving them apart.
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# 59 : Tuesday 11-1-2005 @ 16:55
If anything the openness it brings means people grow closer rather than driving them apart.

Now that a bit of time has moved passed since i told them that statement is so true! I know speak with mum every day on the phone, before it was only once a week maybe or when i was home at weekends
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# 60 : Tuesday 11-1-2005 @ 19:44
Good stuff Sheeben. You gave yourself the Christmas gift of not being afraid to be yourself because once your family accept, something changes inside. It may have been a bit hairy at times but no one could have done it but you and it won’t take long before both your ma and your sister see that the new you is way more familiar than the old guarded one, if that makes any sense?
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